Written by Virag

Wednesday, 07 September 2011 21:47

Day 1 - Bangalore to Pune

As I walked out of the office meeting, I just couldn't wait to start off for a vacation planned without much planning or advanced notice. It was obvious I had started to lose interest in the mundane office work, looking forward to the journey ahead.

It was a Saturday evening (20^th August 2011) when I came to know that the Save Indian Family (SIF) chapter of Mumbai has organized a protest against the "Domestic Violence Act". Being a Men's Rights Activist (MRA), it was but natural for me to get tempted to attend the event but the notice was quite short for me to arrange the trip from Bangalore to Mumbai as the event was happening just 8 days from that day - 28^th August 2011.

But, as I was determined to go, called up a fellow MRA in Pune and he said, he is also planning to attend, my hopes soared. I asked him, if I could join him - he agreed. Then the imminent challenge before me was to decide the mode of travel to Pune. Checked out flight tickets and finding them way over-budget (courtesy the short notice), thought of trying trains but in vain as the site refused to respond.

Exasperated, I tried bus route and was lucky enough to get the tickets. As the tickets for Bangalore to Pune and back to Bangalore got confirmed in bus, the next imminent challenge was to get the tickets from Pune to Mumbai and back. The MRA from Pune, Atit, helped me with that.

As my travel plans got finalized, I was getting impressed with myself as I had already applied for a week's leave in office much before the announcement of the event. Sixth sense as one might say, this leave fit perfectly in my travel plans as I would get ample time even after returning back.

A sudden brake jolted me out of the reverie and I realized that I have reached the Majestic railway station, the pickup point for my trip to Pune. As it was the first time I was traveling in a bus for such a long journey, I was really very excited and the fact that I was going for a Men's Rights Activity was all the more a contributing factor to my excitement.

As I reached near the railway station, I thought of first locating the boarding point for the bus and then have something for dinner as there was still time for the bus to leave. After completing my dinner, I waited at the bus stop, which was near a travels office that was responsible for the pickup. As the scheduled time for the bus arrival zeroed in, I was getting anxious as it was about to rain and as usual, I had forgotten to take an umbrella with me.

Then, the bus arrived, I could see the name of the travels on it but, it didn't stop and proceeded further! I was apprehensive and inquired with the office. They said, "Will come back in some time, gone for refilling of diesel." I was comforted. And so, continued waiting. I could see around buses coming for various destinations and picking up people. Just then a bus stopped in front of me and there was an auto-rickshaw standing in front of it.

It was not possible for the bus to move ahead and so the helper was looking for the auto-driver who was gone leaving behind some kids in the auto. Meanwhile I was waiting for my bus to arrive.

It was taking unusually long time to come from refilling. Getting apprehensive, I called up at the office - the pick-up office was of a different travels. The travels office confirmed that as the bus is getting its DVD player repaired, it will take some time.

Finally, after a long wait, the bus arrived. I was much relieved to enter after getting my ticket verified. Looked for my reserved seat and settled down there and informed Atit that I have started. He asked to inquire about the stop where the bus would drop me in Pune and time. Did that and then felt relaxed as the journey was just about to begin.

But still there was one thing in my mind. We still had to clear the city traffic before hitting the highway as I had boarded the bus from city center. And I was right, we were caught in bad traffic and the bus crawled at snail's speed for about an hour before being able to hit the road.

Meanwhile the bus attendant provided us with water, biscuits and chips. And just as we had hit the highway, the bus halted at Tumkur, for dinner break. But, being already full, I just had a Sprite. The bus stated again and they started the movie - Aarakshan in the DVD player. Though late, it was a welcome move. Hoping that I would enjoy the movie - being made by Prakash Jha, known for making hard-hitting realistic movies highlighting lacunae in one or the social systems/concepts - I was badly disappointed watching Aarakshan as it did not match the standards of Prakash Jha.

Nonetheless, after the movie was over, went to sleep in the semi-sleeper coach as the bus was zooming smoothly on the highway at inconceivable high speeds.

Day 2 - Reaching Pune and being there

As the bus was cruising along the Bangalore-Pune highway I woke up several times in the morning only to find that I still had some more time to doze. Also, my severe headache didn't allow me to remain awake for long. Finally woke up at around 9 and found myself reaching a place called "Satara". After sometime, the bus halted for a while for freshening and breakfast but due to the bad headache I was in no mood to do the brushing here, just had some tea. Inquired from the driver and found out that we will be reaching Pune in about half an hour.

After we started from there, the bus attendant started the movie "Singham". I was a little disappointed as I would be reaching Pune in sometime and won't be able to watch the full movie. But, just as the movie started we were caught in a traffic jam. A peep outside the window revealed that there was a huge rally on one side of the road and it would take quite some time to clear it off.

Normally such a situation would have pissed me off but today I was delighted as it would allow me to watch the movie for a little longer time and so I continued watching the movie. A few minutes into the movie and I lost interest in it. It was a very typical concept of the female using the male as a disposable entity provoking him to keep on fighting for her, even by lying. The Protector Syndrome - the root cause of male abuse - has been highlighted to its maximum as a social norm.

Now, I wished, the jam could clear itself off faster so that I could be liberated from this moral logjam, having to watch a man being exploited, being a men's rights activist. Nonetheless, soon we reached Katraj - place where I was supposed to get down, as the bus would proceed to Mumbai and would not be entering the Pune city - and I boarded down there along with few others.

It was raining moderately and the next imminent challenge was to reach Swargate, place from where I could get a bus to Atit's place. As it was raining, I was tired and had luggage as well, I was in no mood to do any kind of R&D for buses. Luckily, one more fellow passenger wanted to go Swargate, so we shared the auto. He wanted to go to Command Hospital to meet someone.

We reached Swargate in some 15-20 minutes from there and it was still raining. After reaching Swargate, I had the option of either taking a bus or auto to go the place Atit had told me. I preferred auto, as I just wanted to reach home fast and have a bath - the only solution to my headache.

Soon, I reached the place from where Atit picked me up. While proceeding towards his place, we packed meals on the way for lunch. Finally, reached his home, and had lunch after freshening up as I was very hungry, having had only a cup of tea since morning. Felt very lazy after lunch so just relaxed for a while, checking emails and discussing about the men's rights movement in Pune with Atit.

Post afternoon, we went out. Atit got his bike washed and then we had tea and all this while we were getting drenched in the drizzle that was continuing throughout the day. As the bike was getting washed, I observed some interesting things. It was drizzling and the man was washing one after another vehicle, getting drenched in the rain. I was standing in a nearby shed. I could also overhear some communication between some other workers. Apparently the owner of the shop was telling a boy and another grown up man that tonight they would be sleeping inside the shop - to guard it. And a thought struck my mind, like a bolt of lightning striking a tree branch, about how difficult lives men need to live just in order to survive in this society and have a semblance of what we call as a life.

Nonetheless, we moved on. Came back home and finally I could muster some courage to have bath and felt much better after that. The evening somehow passed and we went for dinner. Although had plans to sleep early due to tiredness and also had to catch the train to Mumbai early next morning, somehow sleep evaded and ended up sleeping very late in the night only to get up in few hours.

Day 3 - Mumbai

Beep! The alarm goes and I was already cursing time for passing so soon. It appeared to me as if I had just slept and it was time to wake up, however, had to get up as we had to catch a 7 AM train and so had to leave by 6 or 6:15 and so I was up. And apart from getting up and getting ready, I had one more task at my disposal - to wake up Atit. It was a really tough one to wake him up from sleep.

However, after much persuasion, he was up by the time I was ready. So while he got ready I just lied down listening to songs. After sometime we left. Initially we'd thought we will be going by the bike but as we stepped down, we saw it was raining, so we thought it would be better to take a car as the rain might increase on the way and it might rain during night time also when we return.

And so, we reached the Pune station, parked the car in the adjacent parking lot and entered the station after having morning tea outside the station. I was wearing a white collar-less Tee which bore the words "Mens' Rights Activists (MRA)" in the front side and "Male Empowerment (ME)" on the back side.

As we entered the platform, I could sense the discomfort in people on seeing the wordings on my Tee and was silently enjoying it as well, thinking that this is the same society which considers men as disposable entities and has made male-abuse a social norm and today it was getting uncomfortable seeing a man demanding his rights.

Nevertheless, I was delighted to see our Pune core team standing there at the platform. We entered the train - The Deccan Queen, which was already standing at the platform after exchanging greetings and getting introduced to some new members.

We were 9 in total and 3 seats which were scattered. So we requested some of the fellow passengers, who were travelling alone, to take seats elsewhere so that we can sit together. There was an old man sitting there by the window seat. The old man was a bit stubborn and refused to change his seat. And he was giving excuses. Finally Atit told him, "Its fine, you are not ready to help, there is no point in giving excuses."

After that, we continued to settle our luggage and also continued with our usual fun and banter. Ten minutes after that, the old man said, "Can you help me shift my luggage to the other seat, I am ready to transfer." The old man could not tolerate a few liberated young men and felt uncomfortable.

There was a lady seating near the window seat of my berth with a small baby and some luggage. While her parents were getting out of the train, who had to come to see her off, her father asked me to help the woman with her luggage at the Dadar station. I just stared at the man; will be revisiting this incidence in a short while as I cover the journey ahead.

Meanwhile, after a couple of minutes the train started and as always I started feeling elated. I have always felt so whenever a journey begins. And as the train started moving, so started our discussions and the Pune team started to plan their next trip for the upcoming holidays of Eid-ul-Fitr and Ganesh Chaturthi. After a while the logistical plans subsided and it seemed they had a plan in place for sight-seeing.

But after that, the team got really serious and started discussing the problems within their own chapter and the challenges they were facing while trying to build their newly formed organization titled, Men's Rights Association.

And hence, their discussions about the new organization and about the pending logistical and intellectual tasks regarding it went along, I just took a few rounds of the coach and noticed interesting reactions on the faces of the fellow passengers seeing the quotes on my Tee.

After sometime we had a photo session in the train itself and took some snaps through the different cameras that we had. And thus the journey went on as I could see through the beautiful valleys of Lonavla and Khandala on the way, getting drenched in the incessant rain that was going on.

Soon, we were about to reach Dadar station, when I just realized that the battery of my mobile was running low. Considering the fact that I would be reaching back home to Pune only by night, I thought it would be a good idea to charge the phone for sometime before getting down at Victoria Terminus (the famous VT station of Mumbai).

Spotting a charging point at the end of the coach, headed there, equipped with my cell phone and its charger. Meanwhile Dadar station came and I saw that the female (with the kid) was getting down and one of our Pune team members helped the lady with the luggage. Few important observations in the whole exercise:-

1. The female never asked another female to help her with the luggage.

2. The male, our team member, Daktar sahib, as we fondly call him, helped only till getting the luggage to the platform, who will help the woman now with her child and luggage?

3. There was one more man there, trying to get down with a lot of luggage and was finding it difficult to manage it. But neither did anyone offer any help to him, nor did he asked (probably knew, no one's gonna offer even if he asked for it).

One of the key principles of the men's rights movement and to be a Men's Rights Activist, is to understand that women are not the weaker sex and should not be sympathized with unnecessarily for when it comes to ruining a man and his life, a woman won't think twice, just the way she won't think twice before exploiting the man as an UNPAID BODYGUARD and an UNPAID COOLIE. Choice belies with men, whether they want to understand this principle or not.

The MRA team was reasonably angry with Daktar Sahib for violating one of the most fundamental principles of the movement and a hot discussion ensued following the incident and soon, we reached the VT.

As we got down to VT, so did a nerve-rendering truth onto us - the possibilities of our protest was looking in doldrums as it had been raining cats and dogs in Mumbai and I better not comment a word about the famous Mumbai Rains - in their modest fury on Sunday the 28^th of August 2011. Wondering, what to do next, we slowly inched outside the platform and came near to the exit, watching the "Dew Drops in a furious mood". No sooner, our group got accumulated there, as Arghya Dutta - the key organizer of the protest - and a few other MRAs from Nagpur and Mumbai also joined us there.

After waiting there for some time, as the rains subsided, we came out of VT being covered under umbrellas and headed towards the venue of the protest after finishing lunch.

As we reached Azad Madian, just opposite the VT station, we found ourselves walking in rain-drenched mud and hurried to a nearby tent. Slowly, MRAs started gathering there and the usual greetings and surprises started along with photo sessions.

After a while, 2 cops came there looking for the organizers, as we had to oblige certain documentation formalities before we could start the protest. The organizing team obliged. We were told, we would have to move to the tent opposite to the one under which we were standing. So we moved there, to a tent, adjacent to which a few supporters for Anna Hazare were sitting there.

And, our team started unfurling the banners, placards containing message of our movement like "Husband Not An ATM Machine", "Alimony = Post Paid Prostitution" etc. and started setting them up. Some more can be seen at Mumbai Dharna Album

After sometime, things had settled down and one after another few speakers came who addressed the audience about the purpose of the Dharna, the dangers of the Domestic Violence Act and our demands from the Govt. of India. As the protest progressed, so did the rain fury which did affect the numbers attending the protest, but nonetheless I was feeling elated and ecstatic attending the protest and the enthusiasm of the new team was really amazing.

Zee news came to cover our Dharna but on one condition that we should also shout slogans supporting the Anna Hazare movement. Normally, if I would have been the organizer I would have declined such a request because:

1. We never dilute our agenda merely for some media coverage.

2. No supporter of Anna Hazare movement will ever come to support men's rights unless he is victimized by the anti-male gender biased laws of India.

3. It sets a wrong trend.

Nevertheless, as the team was young and new, we did not stop them, just that myself and Atit stepped back from the slogan shouting as we cannot see the movement getting diluted for some temptation like Zee News covering it.

And after that, the protests continued, and then a team member requested me to speak something about the practical dangers of the Domestic Violence Act. I was set into thinking, as I had agreed to speak but was still making my mind as to what should I speak of. And then lightning stuck - I got an idea of how to convey the message.

Only hurdle was Atit's cooperation. I told him, "You approach me as a victim husband of the Domestic Violence Law and I will act as a counselor." He agreed and we did an extempore skit based on this theme explaining the dangers of the Act and the harmful social behaviors and pervert mindsets that kill men silently and at times, literally.

The entire act can be seen here.

And after that, the protests continued for some more time, before we winded it up. We had a train to catch to Pune. And so we hurried back towards VT and in no time, settled inside the train. Slowly, I was starting to realize the fatigue of the travel - having had slept for only 3 hours the previous night and had been constantly mentally active for the past 12 odd hours, I could sense the depleting batteries of my metabolism. Nonetheless I was feeling great.

After, a while, we had snacks - cheese toast and bread cutlet followed by tea. Then, as the Pune team got back to its scheduled discussion (pending from morning) about the new organization - Men's Rights Organization, I went near the door to put my mobile phone on charging. Having charged it sufficiently, settled down at my seat, listening to songs and relaxing.

Tired of seating for long, I spent some time at the door of the train, enjoying the cool breeze. Whenever I travel in train, I do spend some time - with myself - at the train door. It feels so great and refreshing.

And slowly, we approached Pune and finally got down at Pune station amidst slight rains. I had to purchase the famous "Bhakharwadi" of Pune, so a fellow member accompanied to the shops across the road in front of Pune railway station, while Atit headed to the parking lot to get his car out. Some members were accompanying us in Atit's car as they would get down mid-way to go to their homes.

Due to heavy snacks and fatigue, we were in no mood for a dinner and thus went home. After a couple of hours of discussion about the men's rights movement in Pune, we went to sleep. And thus the day ended.

Day 4 - Pune to Bangalore

Aah, I, at times, I hate the sunlight. It was barely 5 hours since I had been sleeping and the sunlight was peeping in, just like Tom. I was barely able to open my eyes to see the time - 8 AM! Went back to sleep again and got up 3.5 hours later at 11:30 AM.

As I saw the time, I realized that we had very little time to loiter around as we had planned to leave by 1:30 PM. It was a Monday morning and Atit was working from home. The plan was to leave at 1:30, have lunch and then I would proceed to catch my bus to Bangalore and he would proceed to his office.

Keeping the short timeline in mind, both of us started getting ready. I completed packing all my things - keeping in mind my consistent habit of forgetting things. However, this time was different. I was careful enough not to do so.

We were out of the house by 1:45 PM. It was raining moderately and we headed towards "Burger King". Had burgers, French Fries and Mirinda in lunch. Tummy full, we stepped out from there and Atit then dropped me close by from where I could get an auto to the Pune Railway Station, my pick up point for the bus.

Reporting time was 3:45 PM, I reached at around 3:20 there. Before leaving Atit's place I had received an SMS from redbus (the online vendor for ticketing) containing the details of my bus, pick up point, vehicle number and a mobile number as well to contact. I was surprised at the professional standards! After reaching the pickup point, took some time to figure out the actual location and thus I took out my mobile and dialed the number that was given there. One person received at the other end and when I asked him about the exact location of the pickup point, he replied, he had no idea about it. I was flabbergasted and thought for a second - Wasn't this the number I was supposed to call for some query? - and then the voice continued (in Hindi) - "I have got 40-50 calls from morning regarding this query, this is wrong number." I was back to reality, I am still in India!

After inquiring locally about the pickup point, reached there and after showing my ticket at the counter, was told that the bus would be coming in about half an hour and thus settled down there.

It started raining heavily and I was feeling happy as I had already reached the pick-up point. Slowly, other passengers started gathering there and I saw two very young girls coming there and joining the bandwagon to travel to Bangalore from Pune via the same bus. They were chatting amongst themselves and giggling away to glory and a thought flashed across my mind - "From which angle do they look victimized, and yet they enjoy so many social privileges, anti-male laws, social sympathy and so many social concessions." Suddenly I realized, the concept of men's rights is so much needed for a saner society.

Nonetheless, it had started to appear that the bus was going to take eternity to reach. I was getting impatient and inquired with the office, the person there said; it would take 10 more minutes to come. Felt a bit relieved.

After a while a bus came to the opposite side of the road shouting "Bangalore, Bangalore". I rushed towards it and got myself seated in it. But suddenly I noticed that it was a city bus, so cross-checked if it was only a drop-off bus. It indeed was. We were being taken to Katraj - the same place where the bus had dropped me when I reached Pune 3 days back.

Got to know that the bus to Bangalore is coming from Mumbai and thus won't enter the city to save time and thus an arrangement was made to transfer people from various pick up points in the city to the bus. While sitting in the bus I observed, there was a driver and a coordinator. The coordinator was constantly on phone, talking with the drivers of different buses to assess their locations, estimated time of arrival and confirming the number of passengers for each bus. This interim bus had passengers for Bangalore, Kohlapur and Mangalore.

After much ado, we reached Katraj and were standing on wet mud, waiting for the bus to arrive. It was drizzling and I wanted the bus to come soon. Had been waiting for the journey to begin since the last 2 hours and was tired of waiting.

And the bus arrived, my joy knew no bounds. Settled down in the bus and after a while it started to move. They started the movie "Kites". It was an extremely boring movie and the only good thing in the film was Hrithik's dance which comes at the very beginning. So after enjoying it, I was drowned in my own thoughts and started penning this travelogue there. The beginning of the travelogue was crucial and thus spent some time on it.

No sooner, the bus halted for dinner at around 8:30 and I thought it was the right time as I was feeling hungry. It was still raining and I came inside the bus after finishing dinner. After, "Kites", they played "Krissh" and I thought the bus conductor must have been a Hrithik Roshan fan. But still Krissh was much more tolerable compared to Kites as it had better songs and some stunts and special effects to enjoy.

As the movie ended, I dozed off only to open my eyes in Bangalore. The bus was very near to the drop-off point and so I got myself prepared to get down. And as I was getting down, I was thinking about a journey that was planned at such a short notice and went off so well with so many rich experiences to share.

Now I was back at home ground, and hence the confidence in my steps increased betraying the fatigue of the journey as I was already planning my day ahead as I inched towards the bus terminus to catch the bus back home.

After an hour, I was home and I was Home Alone. My parents had gone to stay in a city temple for some days as the Jain religious festival "Paryushan" were going on. And so began the unpacking of the luggage and with that begun the unraveling of the memoirs of a trip well remembered.

I hope, you did enjoy reading my experiences. Feel free to contact me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

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Pune Mumbai Trip Travelogue
Wednesday, 07 September 2011

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