Written by Virag

Thursday, 13 October 2011 23:06

Day 1 - Reaching Delhi

This was by far, the best birthday I could ever have had experienced in my entire life. I will be going into the reason for the specialness of this birthday in a while but before that I need to share a thing about that phone call that I got while I was in an office meeting. It was the 19^th of September 2011 and I was in an office meeting when I got a call from an unknown number. Reluctantly, I picked up the phone, thinking I will tell the caller to call later. But, when the voice at the other end, started speaking, I just had to listen before I could say a word.

The voice said (in Hindi), "Is this Virag?"

I said, "Yes".

She then said, "This is Harshita calling from the Rajya Sabha. We have received a petition from you with regards to the "Protection of Women at the Sexual Harassment Workplace Bill, 2010" and the committee would like to hear your views."

I said, "OK....."

She continued, "We want to know whether you can make it to the Rajya Sabha on the 29^th of September 2011 at 4.15 PM?"

I said, "I am in an office meeting, shall I get back to you on this?"

She said, "Sure, can you revert back by 6 PM today?"

I said, "Yes, I will."

After the brief call ended, I rushed back into the room. My manager was looking at me, probably not too happy about me receiving a call in the midst of a meeting, which was now over. I told him, "It was a call from the Rajya Sabha." He just smiled.

I wanted to go there and share my views on it, what with me being a part of the men's rights movement and a prominent men's rights activist since the last 4 years, me-thought, this is a great opportunity to take our views to the politicians. And so, I was planning the whole trip which was just 10 days from then - quite short a notice to arrange a trip to Delhi from Bangalore. Nonetheless, looking upon everything as conditions to play the game, I decided to play the game after consulting a fellow activist, who validated my feelings to go and I decided, even if it means going alone, I would.

And, the second motivating factor was that, coincidentally, 29^th September is my birthday and celebrating my birthday in the Rajya Sabha for the cause to which I have dedicated my life was like a lifetime opportunity to me and this was that special reason that made this birthday of mine a distinct one from the others that I have had so far.

And now lay before me a 2-fold plan. One aspect of the plan was logistical, had to arrange for to and fro tickets, take leaves from office, manage my office work and the other aspect was intellectual - prepare for the presentation to be spoken before the committee in the Rajya Sabha.

I immediately booked flight ticket from Bangalore to Delhi after confirming to the person who had called from the Rajya Sabha that I would be attending the hearing.

And then talked to a few fellow activists in Delhi and one of them said that he can get the return ticket done for me in train and I would be staying at his place only. After that I talked to my manager and got my 2 days of leave approved.

The following 3-4 days witnessed intense thinking about the different points to be raised in the presentation and then all it took was one weekend - the only weekend I had, before the presentation - to prepare the material, one powerpoint presentation and one word document supported with a lot of annexures resulting in a total of 37 page material to be submitted. This preparation increased my confidence much as the fact that one more of my fellow activists would be participating with me, whose attendance I had already confirmed to the Rajya Sabha committee.

With all things in place, the next big task was to reach airport on the day of flight by 7 AM. Realizing the conveyance problems in my area I decided to go to my friend's place, who would be traveling with me, the previous evening itself. And so I was there with him. We prepared all the folders with the material to be presented, after dinner and went to sleep only to wake up in a few hours at 4:30 AM on the 29^th of September 2011, my 31^st birthday.

After getting ready and fighting the dizziness, we were out on the streets, looking for an auto. Luckily we found one to take us to the nearest bus stop from where we could get a bus to the airport and just 2 Kms away from the stop, the auto broke down. Some cable gave way. We got a bit tense, though we were hopeful of getting another one and we did get as well. After paying the first one its dues, we hopped onto another auto which took us to the bus stand in another 5 minutes. As we disposed him off, to the utter despair of ours we just realized we missed the bus. The bus to airport left, which meant, we would be required to wait for the next one to come.

These two things made me a bit wary - are these some sort of signs? Immediately brushed off any such thoughts, to keep my motivation up as I realized the gravity of the task we were just about to perform in about half a day from thence.

And as I was delved into these thoughts, meanwhile talking to my friend as well, the bus arrived - much to our comfort and we boarded. No sooner, we fell asleep on the bus and didn't realize how soon we reached the airport. We were still ahead of time, so decided to have a cuppa tea. After paying Rs. 20 for tea - after all it's the airport; we headed to complete our check-in process.

Having finished the formalities soon, in no time we were inside the flight, waiting for it to take-off as I am really fascinated during take-offs. After a while, as all the formalities were over, and after waiting for about 10 minutes on the runway for clearance, the flight took off and I was enjoying the ascent. As the flight stabilized, we took out our documents for the presentation from the hand-baggage and did some preparations of what we are going to speak before the committee and how are we going to present it.

The preparation seemed to be over faster than we had imagined and we still had around 1.5 hours of flying left, and so I dozed off again to compensate for the lack of sleep. No sooner, we were about to land and landed at about 11:10 AM.

As we came out of the airport, I recalled what Kamal had told me while back at Bangalore. Kamal was the friend of ours at whose place we were supposed to stay. As his residence was very far from the airport, he had suggested that we head directly to the Rajya Sabha from the airport and then to his home after finishing the task at hand. The suggestion seemed sensible to us as that would relieve us as well and then we could just concentrate on having fun with other fellow Men's Rights Activists (MRAs).

Kamal had told us to catch the metro train from airport and so we inquired about it. A security guard was kind enough to guide us to the buses standing at a distance which would take us to Terminal 3 popularly known as T3 from where we would get the metro train to the city. And so we boarded the low-base bus. And as the bus started to cruise along the newly built Indira Gandhi International Airport at New Delhi, - the IGI airport, I started wondering, "is this India?" And I could sense a similar thought echoing in my friend Katti's mind. We were wondering about the progress that Delhi has made.

Much of the credit of this went to the recently conducted "Common Wealth Games" popularly known as the CWG games as owing to the event, a lot of roads and infrastructure was built in Delhi, in and around the CWG village and also the IGI airport was expedited due to that. I was getting more and more amazed and impressed with Delhi as the bus cruised along the highway.

In no time, we reached T3. A few inquiries later, we were inside the metro station, trying to figure out how to proceed, just when we spotted a small crowd. As we zeroed in, we saw it was the ticketing zone and maps were also given there. As it was bit confusing, we went to the help-desk cum ticketing counter. As we were discussing about where should we be disembarking from the metro, a girl in front of us, turned back and told us, "You need to go New Delhi Station" and pointed us towards the ticketing machine, telling us to take the tickets from there.

We proceeded there, after thanking the lady. And then the man standing at the ticketing machine offered to help us, when the same lady again came towards us and told that we need to go to the platform towards the other side after taking ticket to New Delhi. One more person echoed the same, so as we were doubly assured, we followed suit and after having our baggage scanned and security check, we landed onto the platform.

And I wondered, "Did the pilot of the flight take me to Singapore?" For, whatever I was seeing there was exactly same as I had seen in Singapore during my trip there in September 2010. The parallel doors of the train and the platform and the platform itself looking like a stationary train and when the train stops, it's an exact fit into the platform doors and they open simultaneously giving us a seamless entry into the train.

The train arrived in no time and we disappeared into the gaps that formed dynamically in front of us and seated ourselves at a convenient seat and had our luggage placed properly. Before us, lay an advertisement of the Lufthansa Airlines, with all of its 200 international locations written on it and me and Katti were discussing about which place would be apt for having an international men's rights conference and as the discussion ensued, the "Delhi Airport Metro Express Train" cruised at around 90-100 Kmph and we started approaching the New Delhi Station.

No sooner, we were out of the underground track and were running at ground level and we could see the beautiful city of Delhi around and were getting more and more impressed with Delhi and were still wondering if it's India, till we saw a long queue of vehicles piled up a traffic signal - enough to require multiple clearings - and we were reassured, it's India!

By this time, we were over-ground or should I say air-borne as we were running on an over-bridge and we could see the city below. And in about half an hour we reached the New Delhi station and started moving out from there. We saw one of the exits leading us into the New Delhi Railway Station and followed that to come out.

It was 12:45 PM by that time and we were feeling very hungry, so we entered into a nearby restaurant and got ourselves seated there. From there, we called Kamal, our host for Delhi, to inform him that we safely landed into Delhi. During the call, we came to know that there has been a slight change in plan.

Two of our fellow activists, who were coming from Chennai to Delhi, won't be able to make it as their train was held up in the Telangana strike and 2 members from Delhi, Wasif and Manish, would be joining us as their replacement. And so Kamal told me to coordinate with Wasif as his office was quite close to our restaurant. Wasif told me to come to his office after finishing lunch. But as we were having the lunch, he called again - telling me that that meeting had been preponed as per a call that Wasif got from the Rajya Sabha a while ago and we had to be there by 2:30, which meant we were supposed to rush towards Rajya Sabha after finishing lunch.

But then a thought struck me. I told to Katti,

"Shouldn't I also a get a call from Harshita - the lady who was coordinating the meeting?"

Katti said, "you should, but maybe they tried calling you while you were in flight"

I said, "I do not work on such assumptions."

Anyhow, we finished lunch and famished our hunger and then we proceeded to catch an auto outside and no sooner we were gheraoed by at least a dozen auto rick drivers asking us, where we want to go. Some of them were from the pre-paid auto group and I realized, how much struggle these men have to undertake merely to eke out a living. 12 to1 was a very high ratio, I believed and Katti agreed.

Somehow we maneuvered our way to the pre-paid auto booking window and got ourselves a rick booked to the Parliament House Annexe as we were told by Wasif. On the way I got a call from Harshita who asked me,

"Virag, what time are you expected to be here?"

I said, "We have landed and right now, we are heading towards the Parliament."

She said, "Your entry passes have been made for 2:30 PM and you won't be able to enter before 2:30 PM."

I had a few more apprehensions which I cleared with her. I told her,

"As we coming directly from the airport, is there any place to keep our luggage?" She refused.

Then I said, "Will we be allowed to give a power point presentation?" She refused. And suggested that we bring along printouts of the presentation which can be distributed, to which I said, "I already have them, will be using them and she said, "OK" and we hung up.

But still the impending task of safeguarding our luggage was there, so I called Wasif and asked him if we could keep our luggage in his car? Wasif told that he has not brought his car though Niladri - one more of our group member - has hired a standing taxi and we could keep our luggage in that.

Meanwhile, the auto driver got a bit confused and inquired about the entrance to someone and he was guided. So I called up Wasif again and asked him to explain to the driver, about his location so that we could also go there. Wasif did so and in 5 minutes we were standing outside the Parliament House Annexe in front of Gurudwara Rakabganj. The auto driver was also not ready to leave us before he was ensured that we had located our person and reached the place of intent. I was amazed at his professionalism and integrity.

Nonetheless after the auto person went away, we were standing with our luggage in front of the building that was supposed to hear us - the men's rights activists - today for an upcoming gender biased and anti-male bill. Men's rights movement had entered the law making process and that itself was a very unnerving thought for the feminists as we would be challenging the crux of such laws - extortion of men under the carpet of gender laws.

As we stood there with the luggage, a security guard walked upto us and asked us - "what do you want?" I answered firmly, "We have a meeting at 4:15, entry pass is made for 2:30" Seeing the confidence in my voice, the guard toned down and requested us to stand on the other side, as this side was rigged and could cause problems. We obliged and moved in front of the gate of Gurudwara Rakabganj and waited there for Niladri's taxi to arrive.

Soon Manish reached there and as were exchanging pleasantries, Niladri also arrived in a taxi along with Ekta aunty, a senior citizen who supports our movement. Much to our relief, we transferred our entire luggage into the taxi and then moved inside as it was time.

After some initial confusion about our entry passes and coordinating with Harshita, we finally entered the Rajya Sabha building after submitting our mobiles at the entrance gate switching them off and collecting the tokens for the same.

As I moved inside, I could see a lot of security guards moving with wireless talkie and guns and I could recollect some Hollywood action movie scene. We crossed the inner road and came to the back side of the building and it looked like some old college campus.

As we reached the front of the building, a small walkway was constructed and metal detector was kept there, wherefrom we walked in. We were let in, after the verification of our identity cards. Just as we moved in, I saw the "sale and archive section" to my left. We marched forward through the gallery into the main building. We passed several rooms belonging to different departments and ministries.

As we finished the gallery we could see ourselves entering into a lobby area containing a wedge of stairs. Someone guided us to Room CR-A on the ground floor and told us to move a floor up as we were on the basement. "Paradox of realities!" flashed across the grey cells of my brain.

We climbed the stairs and reached an area that contained a volley rooms on its outer periphery and an empty swimming pool in the inner periphery and huge galleria sandwiched in between picketed by sofas to sit. The sofas were huge ones, in sets of four and each set owning a center table placed on the two boundaries of the sandwiched galleria with ample space to walk in between.

I needed the restroom to neutralize the de-stabilized psycho-physiological metabolism. A lot of security guards were moving there with walkies and other electronic gadgets in hand. One of them guided me to the restroom. Upon returning I saw, the rest of the 5 of my group had settled. 4 in one of the sets and Katti on the other side. I joined Katti and as I sat down, he asked me, "Is this your purse?" I looked at the sofa to my side, where Katti was pointing to, and saw a rusty-orange colored wallet lying precariously there. I denied.

Katti, then reported the wallet to the security and immediately 4-5 of them swamped to the place. One of them was looking closely at it, whilst the other one said, "Check it." (possibly for bombs). The first one replied, "What do you think it will contain?" and he moved his detector over it and it detected nothing. Then they opened the purse, to look for some identity. It contained some money, a couple of ATM and credit cards, a driving license that revealed the name of the beholder. While all this, the guard was standing pretty close to me and I happened to glance upon his identity card hanging in front of his shirt pocket. It read, "Special Protection Group (SPG), Prime Minister's Office (PMO)". I was just wondering if really this level of security was needed here when everything came inside scanned and tested. Strange are the ways governments work!

Nevertheless, suddenly the security spotted another identity card that told us that it belonged to one of the translators, who was inside the meeting and so it was sent to the security help desk and probably the person was informed too.

I took some time to go through whatever we needed to speak while one person came and sat beside me. He was wearing black denim, shoes and a short kurta. He was carrying an android mobile and it told me that he was an insider, as outsiders needed to deposit their mobiles outside the gate before entering.

He was making some calls here and there and talking to people, in coded language ofcourse, indiscernible to an uninitiated person like me. One more call from his side and I could understand his functionary type. He was probably, of what we call as CTOs in MNCs, to some MP. He was in the process of creating blogs and websites and then taking public feedback on them, so he had sent the URL (read website link) of the newly created blog to his contacts and was asking them to visit it.

As we were passing time, we saw a person carrying the list of organizations who were supposed to talk on this bill today before the committee and each one had an allotted slot of time. I peeped into the list and saw apart from 3 men's rights organizations, 8 women's rights organizations had also been called like, "Young Women Christian Association (YWCA)", "Working Women's Welfare Association", "All India Women's Conference" to name a few.

The 3 men's rights NGOs that had been called were, "National Coalition for Men (NCFM)", "All India Men's Welfare Association (AIMWA)", "Indian National Socialist and Activist Forum (INSAAF)". Me and Katti were representing NCFM, Nildari and Ekta aunty represented INSAAF whilst Wasif and Manish represented AIMWA.

Slowly, we realized that one of the woman's organizations was taking a very long time and some of our members were getting wary of the same. Me and Katti reminded them of the need to remain stoic. We were supposed to be called at 4:15 PM, however, we were not called until 4:45 PM whence the entire the group broke for tea. Harshita came towards us and invited us for tea as well. We proceeded towards the small canteen area in front of us where tea/coffee and snacks were arranged. There was one samosa, one chumchum and one khaman-dhokla in the snacks. Ours was the only group that was left after tea break.

And so, we all went in and the meeting started, being chaired by Shri Oscar Fernandes, who asked us to introduce ourselves to the committee. It was a huge room with high ceilings. About 12-15 Members of Parliament (MPs) were sitting; a few staffers and some reporters were seated there. The MPs and the reporters were seated by a huge circular table. While at one end, 4 chairs were kept, where we were seated directly facing the chairman and visible to the entire committee. The staffers were seated at the back side.

After finishing the introduction, he read out the objective of the meeting and asked me to start in the form of a query, "Do you think this law should be made gender-neutral?"

Instead of going into the debate I steered across the conversation to my presentation and spoke about it for 20 minutes. It will not be possible for me to divulge the entire details of the conversation here as still the minutes of that meeting are confidential till the committee comes out with its recommendations. Suffice it to mention here that we strongly opposed the bill to gender-biased and any effort to convert this bill into an extortion industry.

As the meeting concluded at around 6:30 PM, after around one and a half hour discussion, we all moved out of the room. Some of the MPs congratulated our group and said that they have never seen a more passionate group than ours.

Feeling a sense of accomplishment and having placed our thoughts successfully before the Standing Committee, we moved out of the building and I was feeling extremely relieved as the pressure that had been built on me since the past 2 weeks was over now and I was feeling extremely ecstatic having achieved this on my birthday and I recollected how, four years ago, it was again my birthday, 29 September 2007 whence I had attended by first meeting of Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), being victimized by yet another anti-male law, the Section 498A of the IPC and today I was attacking another upcoming anti-male before the Standing in Committee of the Rajya Sabha. The feeling is indescribable!

No sooner we reached the "sale and archive section" which I had mentioned as we had entered the building. Though, it was closed and the person there told us, "Sale is closed", but when we requested him that we are coming from Bangalore and might not get another chance to come here, he was too cooperative to oblige and allowed us to select our chosen souvenirs and memoirs from the entire stock and waited for us for the next half an hour till we completed selecting, purchasing and paying for the same.

Then, we came out, collected our mobiles and the luggage from Niladri's taxi and proceeded to Kamal's place accompanied by Wasif. It took us around 1 hour and 45 minutes to reach home. As Wasif parked his vehicle, and we went up, to the third floor where Kamal lives, we found, the door was open and he was not there at home. So, Wasif called him, he said, he is coming in 2 minutes and there enters Kamal with a birthday cake in hand.

I was completely in for a pleasant shock; Kamal had planned for a birthday bash for me! I have myself never celebrated my birthday but Kamal did it, this is what friends are for. Nonetheless, we arranged the cake on the table and after blowing the candle off, I started cutting the cake. The first piece was dismantled from the cake which Wasif was kind enough to spread it all over my face, spectacles and hair, the most common gesture in any birthday bash. After that we finished the cake, some kids from neighborhood also joined in. We took some snaps of the party which are available in this online album.

After that, the usual fun and banter continued through dinner and midnight and after that we fell dead asleep, marking an end to a great birthday and a greater day. All work being finished, the next two days were of relaxation as I had asked Kamal to book a ticket in any train on Saturday and he had booked one in the Rajdhani Express but it was in waiting list 6 at the time of booking and had slipped to 3 by the time we checked in the night. So I was still hopeful that in the next 2 days, Friday and Saturday, it should get confirmed. The tension remained nonetheless, yet I was tired enough to doze off and postpone the thought till later.

Day 2 - Delhi

Some people are over-passionate about their office. Katti is one of them. He had just taken a day's leave from office and had planned to work out from the Gurgaon office on Friday. The only ironical part was that Kamal lived in Ghaziabad and Gurgaon is some 50-60 Kms from there and for that, there were two options before Katti. Either get up early and leave for office by 7 AM or take a cabbie and pay a bomb for it. As we had slept late, the first option was cut off, so he booked a cab and went. Because of that and the early morning melee around it, my sleep got disturbed in the morning and I was cursing the over-passionate zeal in people to attend office.

Somehow I still slept for some more time and got up at around 8:30 AM. I had time till 4 PM, when I was supposed to go to I.T.O. (acronym for Income Tax Office), which is very famous in Delhi on the Barakhamba Road to meet Poonam Pandey, who works as a senior reporter with the Navbharat Times and has been responsible for some of the finest articles for the men's rights movement.

So, I just lazed around, listening to songs, browsing internet, sleeping. Kamal was kind enough to cook for me before going to office and so I ate my lunch. Also started to write my travelogue, as although I had plans to write bulk of it in train, I always knew the beginning would be crucial and so I did it while at leisure and as the time passed, I started at 4 to travel to I.T.O.

As per Kamal's instruction I went to the main road and took a shared auto to the Apsara Border, from where I could board the metro. As I reached the main road, I saw one of them standing there and sat in it. It was an 8 seater car with semi-open contours. They turn out very economical as the per-passenger cost comes out to only Rs. 7, whereas if one takes a single auto, it would cost almost Rs. 50 for the distance covered.

Nonetheless, I got down at the border, as it arrived and asked the driver for the whereabouts of the metro station. He asked me to walk straight and so did I. As I was walking I saw two young boys were fighting furiously on the road. One of them was slightly bigger and was obviously overpowering, but the smaller one was also no less a fighter and kept giving a tough fight. Seeing it, as I walked past by them, a thought flashed across my mind - social structures induce violence into the male life at so early a stage.

Accepting it as a stark reality, I moved on as I spotted the metro station and walked inside it. Headed straight to the ticketing counter and asked the lady there,

"How do I get to I.T.O.?"

She said, "No direct train."

I said, "I know that, but which station do I need to go from here to get there?"

She said, "First go to Kashmere Gate, then change there for Rajeev Chowk and from Rajeev Chowk, you need to go to Pragati Maidan."

I was totally confused by then and all I could get was that I needed to go to Kashmere Gate from there and so purchased a ticket to Kashmere Gate. After that, I saw a map of metro and thought, it might not be a bad idea to clear my confusion here. The map confused me further so I suspended the thought of clarity for a while and chose to remain in the present for the while.

As I got into the train, the virus of clarity struck back and I asked a fellow passenger. He confused me further. Another girl eavesdropped into the conversation only to worsen my confused state of mind. I simply nodded to them, pretending to have understood their directions, but in reality, cursing the virus of clarity.

Soon, I saw myself getting down at the Kashmere Gate station. Suddenly, I recalled the lady at the first ticket counter instructing me to take a train to the Rajeev Chowk from Kashmere Gate. And now I had to dispose of this coin I had purchased from Dilshad Garden - Dilshad Garden is the station from where I had taken a train to Kashmere Gate.

After inquiring with the security guard, I used that coin in one of the exit gates, it just absorbs the coin and the gates open. Just, as I was talking to the guard, Kamal called me. Decided to give him a callback and did so after crossing the exit gates. He asked me to call Wasif for coordination for the evening. So after purchasing a ticket to Rajeev Chowk, I called Wasif, who told me that since his office is at a stone's throw from Poonam's office, I can come to his office after my meeting with Poonam is over. I agreed and hung up.

Realizing that I still had a long way to go, I hurried up. Meanwhile informed Poonam that I will be reaching half an hour later than the scheduled time, and as I reached near the train, I got confused again, whether I am entering the same train or not. I was well aware of the hassles of entering a train going in the wrong directions or making any such mistake and wanted to avoid it. To play it safe, I stepped out of the train after entering it, just in order to make sure I am going in the right direction and so decided to board the next train. After I re-checked the map, and I was sure I am going in the right direction; I waited for the next train to come.

Meanwhile, I could recall an incident when we had reached New Delhi in the Airport Express Metro Train from T3 a day ago. As we approached the exit gate, where we were supposed to dispose the coin off, we saw a foreigner in front of us put a currency coin into the slot, which the machine, obviously, refused to accept, and threw it out to be collected back in the tray below.

But this smart chap, realizing that the gates won't open, simply jumped over them, but was caught by the security and taken aside. He then started to act as if nothing had happened and said, "Do you think I am going to do that for 80 bucks?" And I was wondering, people often say, "Indians are dishonest", but here I just saw a dishonest westerner and an honest Indian officer who was just doing his duty diligently.

The sound of the approaching metro jolted me out of the reverie and I entered inside waiting for Rajeev Chowk to come. It was just 2 stations away and reached there in no time. After coming out from there, once again the lady's words flashed in my mind - Go to Pragati Maidan from Rajeev Chowk. And so I found myself decoding the maps once again to figure out the line. And once again, after disposing off the coin, I purchased a new coin to go to Pragati Maidan. It was a huge station with at least 4 different metro lines criss-crossing there and there was a lot of rush.

The situation resembled the famous Mumbai Local Trains and I was so correct about the impression. Just when I landed at the platform to board the train, I saw a long queue in front of every coach and an equal rush inside. Somehow I managed to get inside and remained close to the doors as I had to get down after 3-4 stations. Reached Pragati Maidan in no time and finally came out of the metro meshwire of trains.

While coming out, sought help from a security personnel about how to go I.T.O. He suggested, better to take a bus or an auto. Realizing time crunch, I opted for auto. The auto driver said Rs. 30. I agreed without arguing. After becoming a men's rights activist I have realized the level of toughness these men live their lives with and only getting abused everywhere, so do not hesitate to pay them an extra 10 bucks if it makes their life peaceful even for a moment.

In 10 minutes I was standing at the gates of the Express Building on Barakhamba Road and headed to the office as per Poonam's direction. It was a great experience to meet her in person after we had interacted multiple times over phone and the internet for articles related to the men's rights movement for the past 2+ years. It was a brief meeting where I told her about my Rajya Sabha experience and about our main demand of the law being made gender neutral to which she agreed in principle.

As it was a peak time for her to complete the day's story for print, I took her leave in some time and headed straight to Wasif's office which is a walking distance from Poonam's office.

As I reached Wasif's office, I crossed the Times of India building and realized that the biggest enemies of the men's rights movement resided in this office. I have never seen any media more misandrous than the Times of India. Anyhow, felt relaxed after reaching Wasif's office as now I can stop doing my R&D about whereabouts and how-abouts. Now it's upto Wasif, to take us around. Katti had already reached there. After having some tea and snacks, we left the office.

And we drove to Connaught Place, popularly known as the CP - the most happening place in Delhi for an unwinding evening. And I was eager to meet Swarup Sarkar - one of the most dynamic men's rights activists who had pumped a lot of blood into the movement and got it mainstream.

As we crawled along the Friday evening traffic in and around CP, I realized, every city is the same when it comes to driving within the city, be it Delhi or Bangalore. The same honks and signals and the very same irritating undisciplined drivers trying to take a left turn from the rightmost lane or the vice-versa and the icing on the cake - the famous parking blues; Wasif was no exception to the rule and faced all of it. Finally, we managed to find a parking near the "Bangla Saheb Gurudwara" and walked some distance to the restaurant where Swarup was waiting for us.

He looked very tired and immediately turned down the offer of all of us going to Kamal's place and spending the night there. The persuading didn't work as he was in no mood to drive around 30 Kms to Kamal's place back and forth. So, after spending about an hour there, we started. Another men's rights activist Ravi Mishra was supposed to meet us at Kamal's place, so we started from there. Wasif, told us, he will join us after marking his attendance at home to his sister and I thought - isn't it high time men are liberated from all these mundane rituals?

Anyhow, as Kamal started driving, I was getting tempted to jump at the wheel, not wanting to miss a chance to try my hands at the Delhi road and traffic. And we did exchange roles near Akshardham temple. From there I drove till Shalimar Garden in Ghaziabad for about 45 mins. And it worked out as a boon as well since Ravi needed a lot of guidance from Kamal in reaching his place and as Kamal was free from the driving tension, he could easily guide him on phone. Meanwhile, I was enjoying my experience.

We reached home and then waited for Ravi to come. It looked as if he was coming to Ghaziabad from Gurgaon via Jaipur. It took him very long to reach there, but finally when he was there; it was a great moment to meet him. And, Wasif too joined us soon, having marked the "attendance".

And, with that started our fun and banter, which continued through the dinner and upto around 2 AM after which we all had fallen dead asleep.

Another day, which started dull, picked up post afternoon and ended up so well, came to an end. And I dozed off with the excitation of a small kid playing with his friends and feeling like being on the seventh heaven. Moreover, the news that my ticket in waiting list got confirmed gave all the more a solace needed before a sound sleep. Now all that was required was to know the seat number once the charts are prepared.

Day 3 - Bidding Farewell to Delhi

I can easily recollect the morning blues as I saw this somewhere on the internet - "I hate mornings, doesn't matter what time I wake up". Same thing happened with me on the morning of the 1^st of October 2011. As Ravi wanted to leave early, he got up early waking all others and I cursed it. But as my sleep broke, I realized the need to visit the washroom. As Kamal saw me getting up, he asked, "Are you up?"

I said, "No, this is just the pre-EMI, down-payment is still pending."

He went out of the room laughing. But after some time I also got up and then the usual fun and banter started.

I was supposed to visit a very old friend of mine who now lives with his wife, in Noida. I was dependent on Kamal and Ravi to drop me, as their offices were on the way and they had agreed to drop me to a convenient place.

As agreed with my friend Suryaveer, who has been my friend since 14 years, we were heading towards Sector 60, Noida, near Shopprix Mall, where he had asked us to come.

As Ravi, with whom I was going in the car, had to take a right turn towards his office, just at the last traffic signal, after which Suryveer was standing, I got down at the traffic signal and started to walk. Met Surya (as I fondly call him), at a distance of about 300 meters from the signal and we headed towards his house.

As we greeted each other, then crossed the road and entered the lane opposite to it, I found myself entering a lonely lane filled with lowly built houses, not exceeding 2 floors. Each house was like an independent bungalow with its own vehicle and gate. It reminded me of Saltlake area in Kolkata and also houses in Chandigarh. Even the ambience of the streets was the same and I just thought, any Tier I or Tier II city would resemble some other similar city - after all they all are mere concrete jungles.

As we entered his bungalow, in which he stays in the upper part on rent, he pointed me to his bicycle; he uses to commute to his office. Environmentalist, I thought, till I got to know the reality in a while as I would be sharing it here.

We went upstairs and he introduced me to his wife, who was busy in the kitchen. We settled on the sofa in front of the Videocon flat TV where some program was running. As we sat and caught up on old times, we were also watching some English movies coming on Star Movies. In due course of time, he told me about his newly booked Swift DZire which was about to arrive in a few months. Yes, you heard it correct - the diesel version of Swift has a few months waiting period and with the constantly soaring petrol prices, it definitely made a lot of sense to go for a diesel car only. And so changed the perception, it's got nothing to do with being an environmentalist but just a matter of time before one purchases a vehicle.

Time always seems to accelerate when it's in good mood. No sooner I had reached his place and it was lunch time and so we sat down to have lunch. They say good friends never wait for a word from you, they just know what you like. Surya was just one of them and my feeling got re-validated as he shared his story of selecting the vegetable to be prepared for lunch. He was confused between selecting either "Lady's Finger" or "Bitter Gourd" and finally he chose the latter, little knowing that it was one of my favorites and today it was cooked really well which I cherished a lot. Apart from that, there was "Paneer", "Dal', "Roti", "Potato Chops", "Papad", "Rice", "Curd" and "Pickle".

As we were catching up on old times, we remembered a common friend and got a chance to talk to him on phone as well and it was really lucky, for doctors practicing at AIIMS hardly get time for them, but today we could talk to him for at least 5 minutes.

And during lunch, got a chance to share the story of mine and Surya's friendship with his wife. Surya, who got married this January, has been my friend since 1997, when we both were in class XI. It so happened, I was traveling to my college in a city local transport bus and was gazing at the day's time table to check out the classes whence a voice came from my side, "Are you from Science?"

I replied in affirmative and he said, "Me too". A little conversation and both of us realized that the distance between our colleges and our homes were almost equal as much as our respective college timings. Having common route, we often met on buses and became good acquaintances. Had it not been for that phone call that Surya made one day asking me if I could help him with some chemistry tuition, we would have never graduated beyond acquaintances but life had different plans for us.

Surya joined me in not only Chemistry tuition but we went on to have many common tuitions and also ended up doing joint studies together, alternatively, at his place and mine, preparing for the entrance exams. I got extremely nostalgic as I was sharing this story to his wife. Interestingly, she listened to it patiently. For, the friendship of Surya and Virag did not end there, as I followed him in the engineering college as well. Surya managed to crack the Electronics seat at the erstwhile Regional Engineering College, Hamirpur (popularly known as RECH) in the Himachal Pradesh in 1999, while I joined the college a year later in the Computer Science stream. And this meant, we were going to be together for the next 3 years, which only strengthened our bond, as we witnessed the REC getting transformed to a National Institute of Technology (NIT) and many more highs and ebbs.

And even post engineering, somehow, miraculously, we always remained in touch and thus etched our story of a great friendship and brotherhood that has spanned for 14 years. Lunch came to an end with this story and many such small incidents and post lunch, we were back before the Idiot Box.

Around 2:00 PM, I thought of making a move, since I knew I had to go all the way back in an unknown city, exploring my route, and also had to purchase some sweets for home and also had some plans of taking some rest before leaving to catch the train that evening, back to Bangalore. After learning from Surya, about how to get back home to Shalimar Garden in Ghaziabad from Sector 60 Noida and also about the shop from where I can get sweets, we moved from there as he came out to escort me to the shared auto that would take me Sector 62.

Although, there was no such hard and fast rule that I had to purchase the sweets from Noida only, however, strange as my life has always been, I had a more constraining reason to make the purchase from then and there itself.

I had notes only with 500 denominations and some small change notes which was a big challenge as I had to travel in autos. As per Surya's suggestion I took an auto to Sector 62 - place from where I could get another auto towards Anand Vihar and also purchase sweets. And so, as we moved towards the main road, bidding farewell to each other, a shared auto came and I got settled into it. Surya instructed him to take me to Sector 62 and drop me near Haldiram's Sweet shop.

I got a seat near the driver and one look towards the driver and made me realize the toughness of lives these men live. He was carrying the auto over-capacity with three people sitting in the driver's bay and the driver was sitting very uncomfortably but he was smiling. I was just amazed at the endurance men depict. But this man had little choices. He had to make his ends meet only by over-sized trips otherwise he and his dependents would starve. I wondered for a while, if anyone realized the stress level of this man.

We were cruising along the buttery roads of NOIDA, looking around, I could see the city and found it no different from any other metro or Tier I city. All of them look the same - concrete jungles with meshes of traffic signals and vehicles roaming like insects on a cake, having no idea where to go but still moving.

The sudden brake by the auto to avoid jumping a traffic signal jolted me out the thoughtful reverie. And I suddenly realized that I am travelling in an unknown place and must not be so over-confident and so I asked the auto-driver, "Has Haldiram approached?" Haldiram, the famous brand for sweets and savories in India, was my source of change for Rs. 500 notes today, more than for sweets, although dad also wanted to have some sweets. Nonetheless it was a dual deal for me.

And so, as the driver dropped me and after paying him Rs.8 for the trip, I moved in the direction pointed to by him towards the indigenous sweet shop. Fortunately, I had a lot of Rs. 10 notes but I was also aware that these won't last long as I was supposed to reach Kamal's place changing at 3-4 places and also had to go to the railway station in the evening and once these are exhausted, all I would be left with would be those Rs. 500 notes which would make me financially paralyzed and I wanted to avoid the situation.

So, after paying Rs. 8 to the auto-driver for the shared journey, I was walking along the small pathway to the sweet shop. I could see 2 now - Bikaner Bhujiawala and Haldiram Bhujiawala - both of them being equally famous for their quality and taste, I was now confused. And then a killer idea conquered me.

I saw myself moving towards the Haldiram Sweet shop. As I entered it, after a long time, I realized the importance of Air Conditioner. Working in an MNC since the last 7+ years, I was kinda acclimatized working in Air Conditioned environments but 2 days in the scorching heat of Delhi and I could now sense the feeling of relief. As I walked past the displays of sweets I zeroed in on the ladoos - the sweet dad wanted to have. I saw the price, it was Rs. 300 for a Kilogram.

Although I wanted half-a-kilo, I wasn't' really keen on purchasing 500 grams from here. Reason being, I would get a change of only Rs. 350 (half a kg would cost Rs. 150 and 350 is what I would have got after giving a Rs. 500 note).

I told the man out there - "Pack me 250 grams of ladoos". He did so and gave me an interim receipt which I showed at the billing counter and handed over a Rs. 500 note to him. He returned me Rs. 425 and I was happy at getting the change.

Triumphant, I walked out of the showroom and towards the Bikaner sweets showroom. Instead of purchasing a single 500 gm package from one place, I had clicked upon the idea to purchase 2 packets of 250 gm from each from the both the sweet shops and, in turn, get change for 2 notes of 500, which would mean a change worth Rs. 850, more than enough to survive me for days together.

Impressed with myself, no sooner I was walking with the 2 boxes of sweets and a change of Rs. 850 towards the auto stand from where I could get an auto towards Anand Vihar.

As I reached the stand, headed towards the head of the queue of autos and boarded the one that was just about to leave. I could have well missed but it, but for the fact that I was desperate to get home and have some rest before starting for the train journey. So, even though this auto was full and I had to sit in an uncomfortable position at the back of the auto, on a narrow seat, with one hand holding the sweets packet and the other one holding the iron rod in the make-shift roof of the auto, with my body hanging out precariously, I was enjoying the ride nonetheless.

But this time I hated the road-bumps as they would throw my body completely out of gear and had to maneuver my sitting pose every time the vehicle would jump on the bump. After about 20 minutes of ride, I was lucky enough to find myself a place inside the auto as some people got down and as I moved inside, someone else took my former seat and I just realized something about system behaviors - all it matters is which side of the system you are in, it's the role in the system that defines your behavior and not your own individuality.

As the auto cruised along the roads frequenting between Ghaziabad, NOIDA and Delhi, I was seeing at the landscape that the city had to offer me and was thinking how much has Delhi expanded or rather, should I say, exploded!

No sooner, I reached Anand Vihar and after paying Rs. 10 to the auto-driver for this long ride, my next imminent challenge was to get an auto to Shalimar Garden, Ghaziabad from where I could get home - yes, Kamal's place was my home in Delhi for this trip and that's the brotherhood of the men's rights movement. As I was making my way towards the auto stand on the UP side - as Surya had warned me, to avoid taking an auto from Anand Vihar to Shalimar Garden from the Delhi side as they would charge a bomb, citing they need to cross the border and stuff, for no reason - I saw 2 men fighting on the streets and one running behind the other to hit him and thought - Violence is such an integral part of men's lives, as part of daily struggle to make ends meet, which is the social responsibility imposed on men due to their gender, and then the same society punishes men for being violent. Despising the perverted social double standards I inched close to the auto stand.

My first futile inquiry to an auto driver about the fare to Shalimar Garden reminded me of Surya's advice. I realized, I was asking at the wrong place when he asked me 100 bucks to Shalimar Garden. Immediately, I turned around and saw a volley of autos and tempo travelers on the other side of the road and also a big fence dividing the road. But human brain has its own mysterious ways of functioning. Immediately I turned to my right and saw an over-bridge to cross the road.

I walked towards it, feeling somewhat sleepy, and saw it had an escalator for climbing and it was functioning as well. I was surprised and shocked at the same time. For, on one hand, I saw the escalator and the over-bridge and thought India is progressing and then saw a poor family walking in front of me, about 6-7 in numbers and each one carrying a heavy luggage. 4 of the members were small kids. And I just thought - India vs. India - a long way to go.

I crossed the over-bridge and came to the other side. A lot of tempo travelers were standing there and an assistant was shouting in front of each one, to the destinations they were heading to. As the words, "Border" fell on my ears, I recalled Surya had asked me to go to Border from there wherefrom I could get a conveyance to Shalimar Garden, and so I went closer to one of them and inquired about Border. He asked backed, "Seemapoori Border?"

I was confused now, there are multiple borders! I further inquired, "I want to go to Shalimar Garden". He said, "Get in, you will get a rick from there."

I was much relieved. Suddenly, this man disappeared and new one joined in. I was wondering how to find an opportunity to talk to him about informing me when we reach the border, for from what I could understand was that the tempo was going farther away than the border and so I could not have relaxed to wait till the last stop.

But, to my utter surprise, as the tempo started and the man started collecting fares, and I told him that I wanted to go to Border, he replied back - "You want to go Shalimar Garden, so do not get down at the border, I will tell you where to get down, from there you will get a rick to go to Shalimar Garden." I just wondered, handing out the fare to him, about the level of professionalism. Seeing my naïve inquiries, the person who had just left, understood I am new to the area and told the same to this man and he took care of the same.

As we moved along the streets and roads of Delhi, I was just waiting for the destination to come. Soon, we reached the Border but I did not move. Something told me to believe the man and I did so, waiting for him to tell me when to get down assuming he still remembered. After the border, we were moving along narrow streets with a village like appearance. I was apprehensive yet sure, he would tell me where and within 5 minutes, he did. He shouted "Shalimar Garden" and I got down. And I thought - "that's professionalism!"

As I got down, a rick asked me if I wanted to go to Shalimar Garden. I just nodded and sat in. As he cruised along the lanes of Sahibabad - an extension of Ghaziabad, I was wondering - "This guy has not asked me the exact address inside Shalimar Garden, and is riding along." Worried, I called Kamal and asked him about the exact address and conveyed the same to the driver. Finally reached home after a long and arduous but excruciating drive and fell dead asleep.

Kamal called in the meantime that he will be coming home and then we would be leaving for station. Meanwhile I got up, packed up all my belongings and waited for Kamal while chatting with Kamal's old friend Arijit who had just arrived and I learned he stayed with Kamal and was aware of my visit. I asked him, "Are you a Bengali?", he nodded in the affirmative and we chatted something in Bengali. He was curious, "how did you know I am Bengali?",I replied, "From your name, it's a typical Bengali name". He agreed.

Meanwhile Kamal reached in sometime and we started for station. The deal was, he would drop me at the auto stand from where I could take an auto to the Hazrat Nizammudin Station from where I would be boarding the Rajdhani Express.

But as we started, our conversations about the men's rights movement in India started and they were too intriguing to stop for both of us and so Kamal decided to drop me to Hazrat Nizammudin station. Thus, it was a nice experience. We reached the station well ahead of time.

While coming on the way, I had called up Surya, and asked him to check my seat number online, which must be available by now as the chart is prepared 4 hours before the journey. And so I passed my PNR number to him and he confirmed my seat number - B3 22. I was relieved to know it was the upper berth - my favorite seat in train.

In no time, I was seated in my seat with all luggage arranged. I saw there was a Tibetan family with us. Husband, wife and a small kid of 5 years of age playing games on his father's iPhone4; and I was just wondering about this new generation of kids. They are getting exposed to these rays from such an early age and are addicted to electronics at such a young age, where will this ultimately lead to? After all, it makes the life of parents very easy as they don't need to take care of the kid every time, just give him a gadget and forget it.

Nonetheless I was feeling very relaxed as a great journey was coming to an end and who knew this journey would give me 2 new friends. The 3 of us had a great time in the journey, watching movies, taking snaps and playing with the kid.

The photos can be seen at

Some fun on the train with Balram and Sahil

I hope you enjoyed my experience of the Rajya Sabha trip. Feel free to contact me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

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Delhi Trip - The Rajya Sabha Experience
Thursday, 13 October 2011

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